Maybe God Hates Me

I think my son's hypothalamus is broken. Really, it's gotta be. Jake will be 6 months old this Thursday. According to his doctor, and of course the internet, he should be sleeping 10-12 hours without eating. My child eats 7-8 oz of formula, with cereal, before he goes to bed at 7:30 pm. So, why then, does he wake up at 1:00 am AND 4:00 am to eat? Last night I thought, "I won't feed him and he should just go back to sleep." Nope. Didn't work. I finally realized, after an hour, that he wasn't going to go back to sleep until he ate. He ate and was fine...until 4:00. So, his hypothalamus must be broken. To all you moms out there who have 3 month old babies that sleep through the night...consider yourself very lucky. I think the worst part about Jake not sleeping through the night is not knowing exactly how long this will go on. I need some kind of time frame here...a light at the end of the tunnel.

Or maybe God just hates me. While pregnant, I feared the sleepless nights, and in our case, days. I kept thinking, “if I can just get to 6 weeks, surely he’ll sleep then.” The “6 weeks wish” became the “3 month wish.” That quickly turned into the “6 month wish.” How old will my child be before he sleeps through the night? I hear of other new moms complaining that their 2 month old only sleeps for 5-6 hours at a time. Man, we’re lucky to get that now.

When Jake was about 5 weeks old, we went to a wedding where I ran into some people from high school. One girl, who has 2 little boys, said to me, “my first didn’t sleep through the night until he was a year old.” Shocked, I said, “you’re kidding me?!” Little did I know we were headed down the same path. I wondered how I would survive getting up once, twice a night and making it through a day of work.

Jake has taught me a lot already. I used to think I needed 8 hours of sleep to function. Jake has taught me that, no, I can somehow function on 3 hours of sleep. I may not function well, but I do still function. He has taught me that no matter how frustrating life is, you just have to see your baby smile to make everything alright. He has taught me that poop can smell so bad it makes you gag. And he has taught me that carrots stain…everything!

People say second and third, etc. babies are always different than their older siblings. I’m gonna start praying now that my next child will eat when he/she’s supposed to and sleep when he/she’s supposed to. I would say I don’t think I can go through this again, but good Lord, that would be stupid. I guess God is testing me, but I sure wish he’d stop already!