Proceed (reading this post) With Caution!

I am so irate right now. I have had enough of my father. For the remainder of this post we shall refer to him as “BP”…biological progenitor, as he is referred to as in an earlier post. “BP” is much better than what I would really like to call him…“P”. I’ll let you figure that one out on your own! And while we’re on the subject of prescribing names to people, BP’s wife is now “C”, also left to you to figure out!

All of you are aware that I have issues with BP and C. I have tried for years to accept the fact that BP married a dingus. I have said to myself many times, “if you want to have a relationship with your father, then you are going to have to deal with her!” Now it’s come down to me not wanting to deal with him.

About a month ago, C’s father passed away. He had been sick for a very long time and it was time for him to go. He’s in a much better place. I had every intention of sending my step-mother a sympathy card. I met her father when I was 14 and hadn’t seen him since. At dinner with Mike’s family, I get this text message that states, “Check your email!” BP sends me this long, drawn out email about how I need to make a cash donation to C’s father’s church. I needed to call C, tell her I wanted to make a donation but not tell her BP told me to. At the end of the email he tells me I need to forward the email to my brother because he doesn’t have his email address. So what’s wrong with picking up the damn phone? I call my brother only to find out that my father had emailed him just 2 days before (but not about this issue). He lied to me and was putting all the responsibility on me because he didn’t have the balls to call my brother and TELL him to donate money. Asshole! After venting, I decided to ignore the email. I was not about to donate money to a church that I knew nothing about for a person I didn’t know and I wasn’t going to feel guilty about it. Three days later BP calls and tells me to forget the whole thing but to send C a card. Him telling me to send that bitch a card made me not want to the send the card I had already planned to send. Plus, the bitch wasn’t even home. She was gone for three weeks. Ugh!!

Two weeks ago my 84 year old diabetic, crazy grandmother who should be locked up in the nut house had hip replacement surgery. The woman doesn’t even like to walk so I have no idea why she had the surgery anyway. BP leaves me a message saying, “Call your grandmother!” Again, I had every intention of sending her a card, but talking to her on the phone is sucky. She barely knows who I am. Again, I ignored the message. I find out today that BP text messaged my brother’s wife and told her to call her husband’s grandmother because she was in the hospital. First of all, my brother and his wife didn’t even know my grandmother was having the surgery until I told them. BP says, “Grandma is having surgery. Can you let your brother know?” So BP didn’t tell them. Then he has the audacity to TEXT MESSAGE my brother’s wife…again because he doesn’t have the balls to call his son and TELL him to make a phone call.

So, I’ve had enough. This is just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Who the fuck does he think he is? We are grown people. And to top it all off, they are supposed to watch Jake this weekend so Mike and I can go on our first date since Jake was born. I guess I’m just really mad at myself. I keep willing change in my father but it’s not ever going to happen. The man is never going to change. I thought I could accept this, but ya know, he won’t accept me for who I am. I am tired of tolerating their bull shit and for what? What is it exactly I get out of tolerating their shit? Nothing. I get put on guilt trips. I get lecturing on how to take care of my baby. I get fucked up excuses as to why they think it’s easier for them to watch Jake at their house instead of mine. To take Jake to their house, I have to pack up practically all of his belongings (pack n play, sheets, blankets, bottles, water, formula, wipes, diapers, change of clothes, medicine, pacifiers, the list goes on). What the fuck do they have to pack to come to my house? Uh, nothing! I guess I should just be grateful I’m going to get to spend 5 uninterrupted hours with my husband. For real, this is the last time I’m asking them to watch my son. I am going to find every excuse in the book to use when they want to see him. I don’t want their fucked up opinions and suggestions being pushed on me or my child.

I guess it could always be worse, but when you reach your limit, well, you just reach your limit. I’ve reached mine. Enough is enough. If I could pack up and move to Mexico, I would. Being in a different country would most certainly deter them from visiting. God help me, please!

Date Night

I can't help myself...I'm so excited about Date Night this Saturday. Mike and I are going to have our first date since Jake was born. We're going to see the Dark Knight and then go to dinner. Of course, the down side to all of this is the boy has to stay with his wicked step-grandmother. You know, the one who tries to tell me how to change his diaper. Or tells me that it's just absolutely awful and wrong that we let him sleep on his belly. Or pulls his hands out of his mouth for fear he might suck his thumb. Idiot. She has no idea that kids his age are just figuring out their hands. They put them in their mouth...that's just what they do. It doesn't mean he's going to suck his thumb. And even if he does suck his thumb, so what. Get over it. He's my kid, not her's. Anyway...that's another post.

So, the Dark Knight. Have any of you seen it? Everyone's been talking about it...how great it is and how awesome Heath Ledger's performance is. I've been in love with Heath Ledger since I first saw him in "10 Things I Hate About You" which I could watch over and over and over again. In fact, maybe I'll go home and watch it today...if the boy will let me. Heath was on my List of Five. You know, the five people I can sleep with without getting in trouble. Mike says I can only have a List of Four now since I picked someone who died. Stupid! I still can't believe Heath is no longer with us. What a waste of a hottie! I like his old look better than his newer look, but, either look, I still love him! I'm super excited to see the Batman movie, even though he obviously doesn't look like himself. It's such a shame that he's not around to enjoy the success of the movie or to make a sequel. I heard there might be a sequel. Just won't be the same without Heath. So, if there's talk of a sequel, that means he doesn't die at the end of the movie, right? I'm gonna be so pissed if I sit through almost 3 hours of movie and then have to watch Heath die again.

Day Care Rocks!

Jake's first week of day care didn't go so well. When I picked him up on Wednesday I could tell he wasn't feeling well. He spent Wednesday night trying to figure out how to breathe through his mouth as he was congested. It was so sad. We went ahead and took him on Thursday and they informed me when I picked him up that he had been fussy all day and not eating well. We woke up Friday morning and the poor little guy had a fever of 101.7. We got in to see the doctor first thing. They couldn't figure out why his temp was so high, so they did blood work. They wanted to rule out pneumonia. That was awful. I almost cried when they stuck him with that needle. They had to have an extra person hold his arm still. Poor little guy. They asked us to wait in the waiting area for the results. He made every other baby in the waiting room cry. I felt so bad. Luckily, it wasn't pneumonia, just a cold. Of course, they won't give babies his age anything except Tylenol...so we loaded him up every 4 hours. The fever finally broke Saturday and he was much happier.

It's nice to know I pay to get my child sick. Day care rocks! Ugh!!

Carney Man

So, yesterday was my first day back at work since April 18. It was super hard leaving Jake at day care. Mike had to take him. I knew I wouldn't leave him. He would have either been at work with me or I would have quit my job. Quitting my job probably wouldn't have been the best plan though. It sucks that I have to work. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't realize how hard until after he was born. Now he's off forming attachments with someone who isn't me. Yeah, it's probably good for him. His only two friends right now are Buddy and Badger and I must say, they're not really into being his friend. The peeps said he did really well yesterday. Of course, are they really going to say, "yeah, he had a bad day!" They told me he seems to be a very happy baby...which made me feel a little better about it. At least he might be happy there. He was exhausted when I got him home. He slept from 9:30 pm to 4:00 am. I couldn't believe it. And seeing as it was my night to get up with him...it was AWESOME!! Let's hope he shows Mike the same courtesy. Ha!!

So, in the words of Cody Canada..."I am a carney worker, I make two bucks. Every hour come to find out...this job it f**kin sucks!" I'd much rather be at home with my baby!