Jake's First Christmas

Santa almost had to visit Jake in the ER. I had taken Jake to the doctor on Monday because he had a horrible cough. The doctor finally gave him some medication. We left town on Tuesday for my mom's. By Wednesday Jake had gotten worse. Finally, that evening, we decided to brave the small town ER.

It was one of the worst days of my life. After basically laughing at me for bringing my baby in for "cough and congestion," they did nose swabs, throat swabs, drew blood and took x-rays. We had to basically restrain Jake. It was horrible. I was crying. He was screaming. He just kept looking at us like, "why are you letting them do this to me?" After they drew blood out of his little arm he was so angry. His hands were shaking and he kept making grunting sounds. I didn't think he would ever forgive us.

ER doc reported back that Jake had RSV and strep. They had to give him a shot of penicillin. He hated us for that too. But, he's much better. After a couple of days he was back to his normal, happy self. He had a follow-up visit to his regular doctor this past Monday. He put Jake on breathing treatments, and that has really seemed to help the little guy.

It seems like things never stop. The cycle just keeps starting over with some new problem. If it's not one thing, it's another! We were able to get some good pics on Christmas Day with Jake and his new toys. He was kinda sorta into it. He got a small, foam basketball and once he opened that...that's all he seemed to care about. It wasn't the ideal "first Christmas", but in spite of the drama/trauma, it was still fun.

New Job, Part 2

So, I'm still sitting here. I've had a few things to work on, but nothing too amazing. I've been introduced to a new game on MSN.com, Bubble Town. I've become addicted and get paid for it. Nice. Why am I complaining, you ask? Cause I'm tired of wasting away.

When I applied for this job, I also applied for one other job. This other job is three pay grades above what I currently make. It's also a job with the state schools and if you watch/listen to the news, then you know that the state schools are in a lawsuit right now. I really only applied for the job because a co-worker pushed me to, saying, "you'd be really good at that job." I got my current job and never thought again about the other one.

The Tuesday before Thanksgiving I get this call at 2:30 in the afternoon. This woman wanted me to come interview for the other job at 4:00 that day. Not only did I think that was rude, but she also said, "we're wrapping up our interviews and you're the last one." Why did they wait to call me? I just kept thinking they hadn't had enough interviews and were just trying to fill some slots with nobodies. I ended up interviewing the next morning.

I had decided to forget about it and not give any thought to that job. I mean, really, why would I get a job three pay grades above my current pay? It was just too good to be true, with day care and all. We've really been strapped lately. So, two weeks goes by. Then last Thursday I get an email from the boss asking if I can come in for a second interview. I went in Friday.

Now, with the legislative session starting in January, this job would be extremely important as they will be focusing on the state schools. While it's scary to think about, it's also very exciting. It would be a huge stepping stone for me and open other doors. It would be an opportunity I couldn't pass up. And, if I took the job and kept it for 6 months, then I could take any other job but keep the higher pay. Nice, right?!

So, the interview went pretty well. Out of 127 applicants he had it narrowed down to three. No pressure. I knew I had to be the youngest person he interviewed. Everyone that works here is like 102 years old. He promised he would call all three applicants on Monday (this past Monday) either way to let them know. Monday comes and goes, nothing. I have a friend up there in that department who has been able to keep me somewhat informed.

Yesterday afternoon I was really irritated by the whole thing and decided to email the guy and inquire about the status of his decision. I put a "read receipt" on the email so I would know for sure when he read it. Do you know that he has yet to email me back. Super nice!

I've been told, "I'll let ya know either way" several times and no one ever follows through. If you're going to be a manager, then have the balls to reject people. Seriously. Don't just leave people hanging like that. It's rude. I've pretty much accepted the fact that I didn't get the job and I'm okay with that. It wasn't meant to be. But for the love of all that is holy, have the courtesy to email a person back.

Sorry, had to vent!

A Little Girl!

Ryan and Laura found out yesterday they are going to have a little girl. I know Laura was really hoping for a girl. Ryan's only response was, "I don't care as long as it's healthy." I don't know why men are always so reluctant to say what their preference is. Mike was the same way. Well, except now he's saying he hopes our next one is a girl.

I'm so excited to go buy girl stuff. I know there's an abundance of girl things out there. It's always so irritating when I go to Target or Walmart, or really any store, and find that the girl section is four times the size of the boy section. Jake has become an advertisement for Carter's. I'm addicted to that store. I should buy stock. It's the only place I've found that has a decent sized boy section and isn't too pricey. Anyway, I'll now be checking out the other side of the store for girl stuff. Yea!!

Setting Boundaries

Why do I attract inappropriate conversation? Am I a magnet for this type of thing? I recently thwarted off a creepy man but have somehow found myself in the midst of another one. I don’t get it.

I was sitting at my desk, minding my own business, watching Jake at day care. This man, who I just met last week, comes into my cube and starts pointing out all the violations of a camera at a day care. I, of course, put up an argument. If you’re a parent and don’t like the fact that other people can see your kid while at day care, then go to a day care that doesn’t have a camera. Our day care has been awesome and such a relief. And, personally, I don’t even watch the other kids unless they’re interacting with Jake. Anyway, this man starts inquiring about why I chose the day care with the camera. I summarized my experience with the last day care. He then asked me, “do you live in fear?” Uh, no! But when I see my child being neglected, I get pissed. The conversation went from day care to religion. He repeatedly kept asking me what my religious background is. Three times I said, “I have a religious background, but let’s just say I don’t currently practice.” Any normal person would have clued in that I didn’t want to talk about it, right? “Your eyes tell on you,” he said. He kept pressuring me to answer him, and I crumbled. I was giving very vague information but he kept prying.

I explained that my relationship with God is between myself and God and not anyone else. Again, he kept talking about it. I told him that I don’t go to church because I don’t like being hounded by people about where I’ve been or what I’ve been doing. I kept thinking my words would somehow make him realize that this wasn’t something I cared to discuss. WRONG. It just kept opening doors for him. This man started preaching to me. “The devil pries your heart open with a crow bar. God knocks gently and waits for you to let him in. Can you hear God knocking?” WHAT? I can hear myself knocking on the door of the crazy home.

Yes, I believe in God. Yes, I admit I have issues with church. How is this the business of some random person? What about me said, “please, help me find the way to God?” How did it so quickly turn from a day care paranoia to a Bible banging session?

I don’t want another creepy person. It seems before I realize boundaries have to be set with certain people, they’ve already crossed the line. I don’t know what this guy does or who he is. Does he have any say in my job? I don’t know. I was just trying to be nice. I don’t want to be rude to people…especially if I don’t know how they affect my job. But, come on people. It’s like certain people forget to bring their filters.

I guess I have to realize that, with some people, I have to be very blunt. I just have a hard time picking those people out before it’s too late. I let people cross a line and then feel like I’m trapped to continue on. I don’t want to be ugly to people. I guess I feel like being blunt can sometimes be construed as being ugly.

THE Stocking

I finally took a few pictures of Jake's stocking and the Advent Calendar I recently finished. I finished the entire stocking at my old job. It took me a few weeks. The calendar took me a little longer. I started working on it at my old job but moved to my new job and figured it probably wasn't a good idea to start out sewing. The little ornaments took me for-ev-er. Each ornament took about an hour a piece to complete. I stabbed myself with the needle many, many times. I was glad to get that one finished.

My mom made our stockings when we were little. I remember my stocking being one of my most favorite things about Christmas. She also made a calendar. Ryan and I would take turns every night putting an ornament on the calendar couting down to Christmas. She still puts up that calendar. A few years ago I made a stocking for myself and Mike. I figured I'd better make Jake his stocking too.

I was so excited to get the stocking ordered. I couldn't wait to get started on it. It arrived, I took all the pieces out of the packaging and realized it was the most ginormous stocking I had ever seen. When I ordered it I hadn't realized it was 28 inches long. Jake could almost fit in the stocking. I still have no idea how we're going to fill that darn thing on Christmas. I hope he likes candy! When we decided on having another child, I figured I'd better go ahead and buy another ginormous stocking in case they aren't available when the second baby does come along. They only had one other 28 inch stocking, so I ordered it. It's just hanging out at the house, waiting.

Jake's stocking was too big to hang with the other stockings, so we hung it on his bedroom door. Every time we go in to or out of his room, he bats at it and watches it sway back and forth. He smiles at it, so I guess he likes it.

Jake's First Thanksgiving

Well, Jake hated the mashed potatoes and he threw up immediately following our lunch. We were so excited to see how he would react to the mashed potatoes. He started gagging the second they reached his tongue. Maybe he didn't like the texture on top of his very sensitive gagger. We put him to bed around 7:30 and by 9:00 he had thrown up in his bed. He proceeded to throw up on every one of us, every pair of pajamas, every blanket and all but one crib sheet. It was horrible. He got the stupid stomach bug AGAIN!

I ended up taking him to the doctor yesterday as he had continued throwing up pretty much everything he ate through Sunday evening. He's fine though. Thank goodness Ryan and Laura let us borrow their carpet cleaner. Between Jake and the dogs, it was bad. Yeah, the dogs got sick too. It was awesome. I've just been praying we don't get it. Nana Nee and Papa Frank both got it when they got back home on Saturday. We can all thank day care for that one!

Other than the vomit and poop, Thanksgiving was good. Even though Jake was sick, he was still smiling and having a good time playing. We got our Christmas tree up and he likes touching it. He loves looking at his ginormous stocking too. I still can't wait to take him to the Trail of Lights. Oh, and he likes the wrapping paper. He wants to unwrap while I try to wrap.

Hope you all had a Happy Turkey Day! Christmas will be here in 23 days. Yikes! We'll try to keep Jake's drinking down to a minimum (picture)!

Embarrassing Moment

We've all done things to embarrass ourselves. All I can do is thank God no one was around to see the mistake I made yesterday.

I was on my way to the restroom and was trying to devise a plan to escape from work early. Since I started my new job, I leave at 4:00. I was wanting to escape around 3:30, just a few minutes early. I was thinking about how to evade the boss and get out without anyone realizing I was gone. I opened the bathroom door and immediately thought to myself, "this isn't familiar!" I took one step into the bathroom and then realized I was walking into the men's restroom. Yes, I said "men's." I could hear someone (I can only assume it was a man) washing his hands. I began to pray to all that is holy that he couldn't see me. Thank goodness there were no mirrors. I cringe to think what I might have seen. The women's restroom is right next door to the men's. I back tracked out of the men's restroom and proceeded into the appropriate restroom. No one was in the hallway to see what I had done. I managed to walk in and out of the men's restroom without anyone noticing. I was so embarrassed I was shaking. I can only imagine what would have happened if my boss, who is a man, had seen me or even been in the restroom. Dear God the trauma. I would have definitely needed some therapy!

Gas Fairy, Thank You!

We haven't seen gas prices this "cheap" in about two years. I can't believe it. I put 3/4 of tank in my Explorer yesterday and it "only" cost $27. I almost did a little dance! Mike and I can now fill up both of our tanks for what it was costing to only fill up the Explorer. The Gas Fairy has taken her wand to every gas station. It's awesome!! Still a little sad that we think $1.94 is cheap, but, hey, it's half of what we were paying just two months ago. I say keep it up, Gas Fairy. I hope this lasts for a while cause it's really helped our financial struggles.

A couple of years ago there was a car commercial that got taken off the air. There was a little fairy that went around changing things, including a manly man into a girly man. Apparently it offended some gay, I mean, homosexual, people and they had it taken off the air. But, I think the saying at the end of that commercial is very fitting for the Gas Fairy! "Silly little fairy!" Keep up the good work! My wallet thanks you!

New Job

I got a new job and today is my first day. I had been looking for a job that didn't require me to travel 40% of the time. I couldn't stand to think of leaving Jake for 3-4 days at a time. I was very selective in what I applied for. If you know anything about the state employment system, you know job postings never really tell the truth. You never really know what you're getting into until you've already gotten into it.

I applied for only two positions, both in the same unit, under the same person. It took FOR-EV-ER for them to call me for an interview and even longer for them to offer me the job. Slow going around here. I was excited to accept, but have been wondering what's really going to happen to me. I got here bright and early this morning (at 7 AM) and have been sitting here picking my nose ever since.

At my last job, I pretty much didn't do a damn thing. For the past month I've been working on things from home...like sewing Jake's stocking. (Shhhhh!) There's been, literally, nothing for me to do. I knew my new job would probably be boring at the beginning and it's way too early to tell how it's really going to be...but, when someone comes in, hands me a book and says, "read this", it kinda makes me think I'm doomed.

Also, my new supervisor took me on a tour to meet some folks this morning. Afterwards we came back to my desk and he said, "that's enough for now. You did real well." Huh? I didn't realize meeting people and saying, "Hi! I'm Angie! Nice to meet you!" was a tough thing. Apparently I was being graded. I found it to be very strange.

It's a job and I should be thankful for it. I just hate having to mix with a new group of people. It also sucks to not have a clue what's really going on and wondering if I'll ever have a clue. I, for one, am not going to get a clue from reading a binder full of crap. So, once again, here I sit!

Happy Halloween!

We decided not to put Jake through the whole Halloween experience this year. He's not old enough to enjoy dressing up and going trick-or-treating. We figured we'd save all that for next year. He would just hate us this year if we stuffed him into some hot costume. It's not like he can eat the candy and we certainly don't need it.

We did, however, get a pumpkin to carve. I was so excited to see how Jake would react to all the fun and nastiness that a pumpkin is. We went to a church in our neighborhood that had a small pumpkin patch. We picked the biggest pumpkin we could find and then proceeded to pay $18 for it. Yes, we actually paid $18 for a freaking pumpkin. We justified it by saying, "at least the money went to a church." We got our big pumpkin home, stripped Jake to his diaper, put him in his seat and...he was totally disgusted.

We emptied the contents of the pumpkin onto some newspaper and I held Jake up so he could stand in all the mess. He was not interested. I let him feel of the mush. He took one little touch and that was it. He didn't want any part of that pumpkin on or near him. And, I was worried he was gonna try to eat it. Ha!

Anyway, Happy Halloween everybody!!

Maybe God Hates Me

I think my son's hypothalamus is broken. Really, it's gotta be. Jake will be 6 months old this Thursday. According to his doctor, and of course the internet, he should be sleeping 10-12 hours without eating. My child eats 7-8 oz of formula, with cereal, before he goes to bed at 7:30 pm. So, why then, does he wake up at 1:00 am AND 4:00 am to eat? Last night I thought, "I won't feed him and he should just go back to sleep." Nope. Didn't work. I finally realized, after an hour, that he wasn't going to go back to sleep until he ate. He ate and was fine...until 4:00. So, his hypothalamus must be broken. To all you moms out there who have 3 month old babies that sleep through the night...consider yourself very lucky. I think the worst part about Jake not sleeping through the night is not knowing exactly how long this will go on. I need some kind of time frame here...a light at the end of the tunnel.

Or maybe God just hates me. While pregnant, I feared the sleepless nights, and in our case, days. I kept thinking, “if I can just get to 6 weeks, surely he’ll sleep then.” The “6 weeks wish” became the “3 month wish.” That quickly turned into the “6 month wish.” How old will my child be before he sleeps through the night? I hear of other new moms complaining that their 2 month old only sleeps for 5-6 hours at a time. Man, we’re lucky to get that now.

When Jake was about 5 weeks old, we went to a wedding where I ran into some people from high school. One girl, who has 2 little boys, said to me, “my first didn’t sleep through the night until he was a year old.” Shocked, I said, “you’re kidding me?!” Little did I know we were headed down the same path. I wondered how I would survive getting up once, twice a night and making it through a day of work.

Jake has taught me a lot already. I used to think I needed 8 hours of sleep to function. Jake has taught me that, no, I can somehow function on 3 hours of sleep. I may not function well, but I do still function. He has taught me that no matter how frustrating life is, you just have to see your baby smile to make everything alright. He has taught me that poop can smell so bad it makes you gag. And he has taught me that carrots stain…everything!

People say second and third, etc. babies are always different than their older siblings. I’m gonna start praying now that my next child will eat when he/she’s supposed to and sleep when he/she’s supposed to. I would say I don’t think I can go through this again, but good Lord, that would be stupid. I guess God is testing me, but I sure wish he’d stop already!

Jake

It's been said that Jake looks just like Daddy and it's also been said that Jake looks just like Mommy. Both Daddy and Mommy have blue eyes, which was obviously passed on to Jake. We figured he had Mommy's chin, smile and nose and he got Daddy's ears and bald head. Since he's gotten a little older though, it's been said that Jake is a spitting image of Mommy when she was his age. It's so wierd how that happens. We don't have any pictures of Daddy when he was that little, but take a look at the ones we have of Mommy.

All along we've been saying Jake got his Daddy's ears, but check out Mommy's ears. I don't know...looking at Jake is kinda like seeing myself. It's a little weird.

Sergeant Wintzell Been

My father's office has a Veteran's group and they recently did a story on Sergeant Wintzell Been, my grandpa. I've always known Pap Pap was a Prinsoner of War in World War II and he talked a great deal about his experience to my mother while she was still married to my father. My father has sent me a few emails regarding Pap Pap's story. It has been neat to read and really learn about what happened to Sgt. Wintzell Been.

Here is his POW story:

Sergeant Wintzell Been was captured by the Germans on July 31, 1944 after his B-24 Bomber aircraft was shot down over Europe. The following are the events leading up to and after his capture. Wintzell Been enlisted in the Army Air Corps and trained as an aircraft gunner and radio operator, before being assigned to the 458th Bombardment Group, 754th Bombardment Squadron at Horsham St. Faith, England, arriving on July 10, 1944. Sergeant (Sgt) Been and his crew were able to fly three complete missions before their fateful mission at the end of July. On July 31, 1944 Sgt Been and his crew were tasked with conducting a bombing raid on a chemical plant at Ludwigshafen, Germany and were flying in a B-24 Bomber named Junior. During their bomb run on the chemical plant, the Americans received a direct burst of anti-aircraft fire (flak) in the nose compartment of their aircraft. The pilots lost all control of the plane as it rolled over and fell violently into a spin. Heroically, the crew members were able to successfully jettison their bombs before it was too late. Sgt Been was assigned as the gunner in the top turret when the plane was hit. Moments later, the surviving crewmembers bailed out, leaving Sgt Been to fend for himself. As the aircraft tumbled from the sky in a tailspin, Sgt Been climbed down from the turrent, and reached for the only parachute within sight. When Sgt Been frantically grabbed the parachute, he accidently pulled the rib cord, and the chute opened inside the aircraft. Sgt Been then scooped up the yards of parachute silk, crawled to the bomb bay, and hurled himself out into thin air, not knowing if his chute would deploy and save him from plummeting to the earth. Luckily the open parachute did not get torn up as he jumped out of the plane and the chute was able to catch wind and fan out enough to slow his fall and prevent a certain death. Greatly relieved, Sgt Been landed safely in a tree about six feet from the ground. In addition to Sgt Been, three other crewmembers (Airmen Sorlie, Neuman, and Grigg) were able to bail out of the tumbling aircraft. The other six crewmembers perished.

Sgt Been and the other three survivors were captured in the Manheim-Ludwigshafen area of Germany. The four survivors were sent to the Wetzlar Interrogation camp where they were held in solitary confinement for 3-4 days with intense questioning each day. After release from solitary confinement, they met for the last time in a separate compound just before being shipped to Prisoner of War (POW) camps. Sgt Been was sent to Stalag Luft 3b and later moved to several other prison camps on forced marches with fellow POWs. Over 3,000 Allied prisoners were estimated to have died during the forced marches. After losing 65 pounds during this ordeal, Sgt Been was eventually liberated by the Russians, after spending nearly 12 months as a POW. Sgt Been made his way to France, where he received medical attention and food, and then returned back to the United States aboard ship. Been was discharged in July 1945 and spent the next fifty years enjoying life. He passed away on December 19, 1995 in Indiana, Pennsylvania.

It's hard to see the picture clearly, but he is third from the left on the bottom row. Six of the ten men on Pap Pap's plane died in the crash. And, according to this story, he almost made seven. It's weird to think how different life would have been for some people...like my grandmother, who hadn't had any of her children before this incident. My dad wouldn't be here. My brother and I wouldn't be here. Jake wouldn't be here.

Unfortunately, I didn't get to go to my Pap Pap's funeral when he died in 1995. (That's a completely different story.) I am very sorry that I didn't get the chance to say goodbye, as we loved him dearly. He was a kind, generous man and the world was a better place with him in it.

The Pumpkin Patch

We went to a "pumpkin patch" this weekend with our friends, Steve and Melissa, and their little boy, Cole. I use quotation marks around the words pumpkin patch because there were about 7 pumpkins total. We went to the Elgin Christmas Tree Farm thinking they would have a cool pumpkin patch. Boy, were we wrong.

When we arrived we only noticed about 5 cars in the parking area. We immediately thought someone was going to pop out, kill us, and hide our bodies and our cars. It was too eerily similar to the Texas Chain Saw Massacre. I had to laugh though. It wasn't funny that it seemed like we were going to die, but funny that we ended up at such a place. Mike and I have bad luck. We always get excited to do stuff only to find the places we choose lack any kind of appeal.

We thought there would be animals...which there were. A pig, two goats and some rabbits. The rabbits, however, appeared dead as it was 95 degrees outside. We thought there would be a cool hay ride, Halloween inspired. There was a hay ride...around all the Christmas trees, some of which also appeared dead. I guess everything appearing dead goes along with Halloween. Poor Cole and Jake. They didn't so much enjoy the ride. Jake thought it was so exciting, he feel asleep.

After 45 minutes of the awesome "pumpkin patch," we decided to call it a day. Melissa knows of a better patch that we're going to try out next year. The boys will be able to enjoy it next year. At least we know the Christmas activities we have planned will be fun. Jake will really like the Trail of Lights and the Lakeline Mall apparently has an awesome Santa. Let's hope Jake isn't afraid of Santa.

Visine In Coffee

Again with the effing politics at work. SHUT UP! Every morning I have to listen to ranting from the dingus in my office. Our economy is in the crapper. People are losing their jobs, their homes, everything. No one can afford anything anymore except the CEO asshole who gets $19 million when his bank crashes. WTF? This is what is wrong with our country. Instead of ranting about what's happening to all of us, all she can discuss is Palin this and Palin that. I get that you don't like Palin, but is that the biggest issue the world is having right now? NO! Isn't anyone else scared about our futures? I am. But all this bitch can do is gripe about how Palin can't do her job...all the while this idiot is telling us to just b.s. our way through our jobs. Just SHUT UP! Go join Obama's campaign. Go be a freaking groupie. Just stop talking about it at work. Stop talking about it within a 2 mile radius of my cubicle. I don't give a damn who you're going to vote for. That's your business. Stop making it everyone else's.

Would I get fired for putting Visine in her coffee? I just want her to get sick enough to stay home. Is that so wrong? I'm cracking up here. I don't know how much longer I can sit here and listen to her bullshit. It goes back to..."Opinions are like assholes. Everybody's got one!" If you're going to be a hypocrite, then stop sharing your opinion with everyone. Look in the damn mirror for once and realize that you are what you say you hate! Good God already! I have Visine and I'm not afraid to use it!

Babies, Babies and More Babies!

It seems like everyone I know is having a baby. Granted, I don't know a whole lot of people, but, a handful of them are popping out kids. Congratulations to Derrick, Jody and Logan! Victoria popped out yesterday! Finally, a little girl. Weird she came on the 30th. I had Jake on April 30th. Steve and Melissa had Cole on June 30th. And now Victoria on September 30th. The only two friends I ever see anymore and we all had our babies on the 30th day of the month.

My sister-in-law is pregnant and two of my cousins are pregnant...all due around the same time next spring. Maybe stop drinking the water, people! Ha! I'm scared. Yeah, I want another one, but not right now. I'm just gonna stick to Dr. Pepper and pray whatever got y'all pregnant isn't in the cans.

Mommyhood

All of you are aware that during my pregnancy I laughed at anyone who said, "you're going to want another one!" My statement was, "if God wanted me to have two, he would give me twins cause I'm not doing this again!" I've been packing up baby boy clothes and getting ready to send them on their way. Guilt and sadness set in. I want Jake to have a sibling. I would love for him to have a little brother. I began thinking about how much I enjoy spending time with my brother. I realized Jake wouldn't have that, ever.

I kept my mouth shut cause I didn't want to hear, "I told ya so!" from everyone I know. I didn't want to bring it up to Mike cause through the pregnancy his statement was, "no more. I'm not getting any younger." I even told the doctor I was one and done. Then, by accident, the subject got brought up. Needless to say I'll be getting my maternity clothes back from my sister-in-law and I don't think I can part with all the baby boy clothes.

I think Mike was more shocked that I actually said I wanted another one. I've enjoyed Jake so much and damnit, I'm a good mom. To think I only get to do this once makes me a little sad. Of course, the first two months of Jake's life were very hard with all my medical crap. And, the kid still doesn't sleep through the night, but I want the chance to do it again. It would be better if I could just stop time and Jake never get any older, but that's not gonna happen.

So, I think next summer/fall we will start making room for another baby. I'm still a little shocked at myself. God knows pregnancy sucks and so do kidney stones, but all that pain and wacked out hormones are worth it. I mean, how could you not want more than one? And, as you can see, Jake is thrilled about the idea of being a big brother. Ha!!

Day Care Insanity, Part Three

I was finally able to file my complaint yesterday. I called the 1-800 number to get information on how to file a complaint and they routed me to a local office. I called the Austin office and when I told the lady I wanted to file a complaint she asked me if I had the abuse/neglect hotline number. I explained to her that I felt "abuse/neglect" was kind of harsh. She said, "even if you just suspect it, then you should call the abuse/neglect hotline." So, I did. Of course, I was on hold for 30 minutes and finally gave up. Thankfully I was able to file a report online. No telling how long I would have been waiting to speak to a human. I thought that was a little ridiculous.

At first I was worried about making a bigger deal out of the situation than someone else might have seen it. I don't want to be one of those parents. But, after remembering how I found Jake that day and other things I witnessed, I figured those things could be considered abuse. The lady not allowing Jake to eat could be considered abuse and/or neglect. I typed up everything and even gave the names of the two old bats. They're definitely gonna know who filed the report even though I'm sure the investigators can't give out that information. And I'm assuming it will be investigated. I would think they have to investigate no matter how big or small the incident may be. I'm also pretty sure that as the complainant I have the right to know the outcome of the investigation. I was unable to get decent information yesterday. I keep thinking that someone will call to speak with me about it. At least that's what I did when I conducted investigations of MR facilities. It's pretty much the same thing. We'll see what happens!

Voting

This is always an iffy topic to discuss, but I've had enough badgering and judgments.

I've been saying for the past 4 years that I was NEVER going to vote again. I think our country is in bad shape. Of course, I'm not the president and I haven't the slightest clue how hard it is to run a whole country. I also never really paid attention in Government class cause it was really boring to me. I always got away with a "c" and that was okay with me.

I'm so sick and tired of listening to people at work bash people who aren't voting for Obama. It's like religion, to me. Just because you're Catholic doesn't make your religion better than mine. Being a Baptist doesn't make you better. Being a Lutheran or Methodist doesn't make you right. It's all different interpretations. I don't think it's right to judge people because they practice a different religion than you. Just like I don't think it's right to judge people because they don't share the same opinion as you when it comes to politics.

I don't watch anything leading up to the Presidential Election. I can't stand listening to each side bash the other side. I think that each candidate tells people what they think they want to hear and maybe not so much what they actually plan to do if elected. All I really care about is not paying higher taxes. We pay too much as it is, in my opinion. And, maybe lower the effing gas prices...but I know that won't be regulated, so I won't go there.

In the past few days I have been listening to people at work bash McCain and Palin. One person made a comment about "that woman!" This same person was all about Hillary when she was running for the nomination. It's okay for Clinton to be a woman but apparently not okay for Palin. And who effing cares that Palin has a pregnant 17 year old daughter. That's nobody's business but there's. Are we going to judge them for that? How many people do you know who've had babies out of wedlock? It doesn't matter.

My point is...SHUT-UP! If you want to vote for Obama, have at it. If you want to vote for McCain, have at it. But stop judging the other side. Who died and made you God? Back in the day when George Washington was elected president, was this how it was? Is this how they intended it to be? Was is always about the Democrats hating on the Republicans and the Republicans hating on the Democrats? (Oh dear God, I used those both in the same sentence. Will I go to Politic Hell for that?) Will there ever be a time where both sides can be civil to each other? I mean, this is the person who's going to run our country. Why do we have to choose between two sides that hate each other? It's not like a ball game rivalry. This is our country. Isn't there a better way?

Day Care Insanity, Part Two

We had Jake at THE day care yesterday morning. The girl there in the morning is really good and it's obvious she cares about those babies. I felt so uneasy all morning so I spoke with my boss and left work at noon. When I got there, one of the girls, who we liked but was only in the baby room occasionally , stopped me outside. She said, "I just heard today is Jake's last day. I'm so sorry. I was wondering what would happen after you found him in the corner, facing the corner, screaming. He's my favorite one and he's such a good baby. And ya know, Miss Angie (the old lady I didn't like...kind of ironic her name is Angie), didn't have patience with him and would only let him eat 2 oz, but I would sit with him until he ate all 6 oz." My jaw dropped. That explains all the 2 oz feedings he got. They told me he wasn't wanting to eat and that his schedule was all messed up. WTF? I could kill that woman. She's lucky she wasn't there when I picked him up yesterday or there definitely would have been an ass kicking. I don't care how old that bitch is.

When I got inside, the Asst. Director was playing with Jake. Ha! Too late, idiot! I had asked her for a letter stating we wouldn't be charged for the next two weeks per their cancellation policy. She had asked me for a letter stating we were pulling him out. We exchanged letters and a look of confusion came across her face. I had attached, to my letter, one of the state regulations. Regulation 746.2401 states, "basic care for infants must include: (2) Individual attention given to each child including playing, talking, cuddling, and HOLDING; and (3) Holding and comforting a child who is upset." My intention was to let her know I am aware of how to find the regulations and file a complaint. I also am genuinely concerned about the other children in that facility who aren't getting the attention they need. I explained that was my biggest concern and she might share that regulation with her staff. She got defensive and stood up for her staff. RED FLAG. Funny thing, there was someone there picking up their child who heard every word I had to say.

All in all, things were fine. He did have someone else's socks on, but I'll take that over any of the other stuff. I got him home, changed his clothes to get the day care smell off and we played. I promised to never put him in that situation again, so this new day care better watch out. I've been in regulatory services and know how that stuff works. A complaint is just a phone call away. I may be their worst nightmare.

Day Care Insanity

Well, on to day care number 2. I had been having some concerns the past few weeks about Jake's current day care. The list below were my first concerns:

1. Woman telling me Jake is fussy EVERY day.
2. Woman telling me I need to give my child gas drops EVERY day.
3. Using teething tablets as a cure-all.
4. Woman complaining to me about other parents.
5. Woman telling me they have 11 babies at times when Director promises the ratio is 4:1.
6. Woman grabbing a child by his arm and dragging him across the floor.

These things I didn't share with anyone for a while. They kept eating at me though and I finally shared my concerns with Mike and began calling other day cares. Day care, as you know, is really expensive. One I found was $200 more a month and I just was trying to figure out how we could afford that.

Monday, I went to pick up Jake and was asked, "do you hold him a lot? He wants us to hold him." I was caught off guard by this question and began explaining that we don't hold him A LOT but that he is our only child. I regretted that as soon as I walked out. I should have replied by asking, "what are you implying? Are you trying to tell me I hold my child too much? Do you have a problem with that?" But, I can't think that fast. So, that was added to my list of concerns. I get Jake home to find that his clothes are on backwards. Also added to my list.

Tuesday, Jake had a doctor's appt. I had decided I was going to pick him up early and go check out this other day care. I usually pick him up around 4:30 but got there at 2:30. When I walked in the front door I could hear my child screaming bloody murder. When I walked into the baby room I found that my child was sitting in an exersaucer in the corner, facing the corner. Neither caretaker was tending to anyone. They were just sitting there, ignoring my child while he screamed his little head off. There was no sense of urgency even after I had walked in. One woman says to me, "he's been bad today and now he's mad!" Well, you stupid effing "c" word, would you like it if you were put in the corner and not able to see anything but the effing wall? She then says, "we can't hold him cause then the others want to be held." Uh, I pay you to take care of my child...and that means holding him. The other woman then says to me, "we had to tell Danielle's dad to stop holding her so much on the weekends." WHAT? Are you effing kidding me lady? You actually had the balls to tell a parent how to parent their child? I stood there in shock. When I got Jake his little face just lit up. It broke my heart. I wondered how long he had been sitting in the corner, being punished for being bad. Please tell me how a 4 month old baby is bad? And, please tell me what makes you think a 4 month old can be punished? Please tell me what in God's name are you effing doing to my child? Jake was not wearing the clothes he had gone to day care in, as he hadn't the past two weeks. When questioned about his clothes, they couldn't tell me why they were different.

I grabbed my child, his car seat and we were out the door. By the time I got to my car I was in tears. I couldn't believe I had found my child in the corner, isolated from everyone else, screaming bloody murder and being ignored. It was awful. I immediately felt guilty. I've been thanking God ever since though for not allowing Jake to remember. He's too young to remember what happened. Unfortunately, for the rest of my life, I will never forget that image.

Mike left work early and went to the day care. He told them everything. The Director, of course, was very apologetic and begged for a second chance. That ain't happening! There's no going back. I'm also going to file a complaint with the state. I'm not sure what will happen but it will at least make me feel better.

Yea Me!!!

As most of you know I've been in a year long teacher certification program. This past Saturday was my last day. I'm finally finished. All those extra classes I had to take at ACC and then this year long program. I've been in school for almost three years trying to get to this point and I FINALLY made it. Now all I need is a stinking job.

I've sent resume packets to 73 schools. I've called and emailed every elementary principal in Round Rock, Pflugerville and Georgetown. Some were kind enough to respond, but others not so much. I check daily on the district websites to see what positions are still open or what new ones have popped up. I immediately apply and call when something new pops up. However, I'm to the point now of just being pissed at some of the principals. I've always been told "the squeaky wheel gets the oil." I'm finding in this situation that is not the case. Throw me a bone, people! I've GOT to get a job before January or else I have to travel with my current job and I just really don't know how I'm going to be able to leave Jake for 4 days. Yikes. Although, this morning, after getting him ready for day care, his butt exploded...all over me, all over him and all over the chair. Maybe I could do without that for a few days! Ha!

GQ (Gym Queer)

So, this morning I was at the gym minding my own business, listening to my MP3 player. I had already done my cardio...which is usually spent watching people. You have the women who come to work out with full make-up and just finished hair. Uh, you're going to sweat. It's obvious they come to the gym strictly to impress people. Then you have your meat heads, as I call them, who come wearing those stupid little tank tops. You know, the tanks that are really skinny and go down past the man boobs. Yuck. Those guys walk around like their shit don't stink. Hey, I say, if you've got it flaunt it...but maybe cover up a little. And then you have your old dudes that like to wear shorts from the 60s. Yea, the really short ones and they, for some reason, feel the need to tuck their shirts in. Gross! Well, this morning I found a new category. While I was listening to my music I could hear some guy really huffing and puffing and making all kinds of racket. He was using the Leg Extension machine. The weight was just so heavy for him that he kept letting the weights slam down. I turned to look, as I assumed it was some big, beefy man. Ha!! It was this little tiny, wimpy dude. He was really struggling. But after every set, he would look around to see who was watching him because he was so proud of himself. After he exited the machine, I couldn't help myself...I had to go over and see how much weight he was trying to lift. I actually laughed out loud. Thankfully he was no where in sight. The weight was set at 70 lbs. I can lift 70 lbs. What is wrong with people? I don't go to the gym to impress people. I go to the gym to impress myself. I'm impressed that I actually get up at the ass crack of dawn to go. I'm impressed that I don't fall over dead after only 30 minutes of cardio. I'm impressed that my leg muscles still work after what I put them through. I most certainly don't go to find men to gawk at. And I definitely don't pretend I'm some awesome athlete. So, my new category is Gym Queer. We'll see if I can find anyone else to join the lone tiny dude in the club.

Windows Vista...

...SUCKS HAIRY BALLS!!! So, I got a new laptop a year ago...guess that makes it an old laptop now. Anyway, I hadn't used it a whole lot until the baby came and we got wireless. As soon as Jake was born I downloaded my camera software onto the laptop with no problems. I got the camera for graduation in 2003. A month or so ago I worked several hours on a homework assignment. Went to install my printer software (for the printer that came with the camera) onto the laptop only to find out that the damn printer isn't compatible. How does that make any sense? Vista will accept the camera software but not he printer software? Then, today, I went to download my MP3 player software and stupid Vista won't accept it. There's this long drawn out process on the MP3 player website but I'm afraid I'll screw everything up. I HATE VISTA! F'ing Microsoft and their ploy to make people spend more money!

Monkeys!!

This just couldn't go unposted!!

What I've Learned

Since having a baby I've learned lots of stuff. I've learned that no one can ever really prepare you. It doesn't matter what people say, you're not going to fully understand it until you live it. Many people told me before Jake was born, "you just make it without sleep." Somehow I manage to function and still smile. I smile because I can't wait til the end of the day when I get to pick him from day care and see him smile back at me!

I wanted to start working out again to lose the rest of this damn weight. I was having a hard time occupying Jake long enough to get in a decent workout at home. I wanted to join the gym again but was feeling guilty about leaving the baby at day care longer. I kept trying to work out at home but it just wasn't working. I would find myself playing with Jake and not making time to work out. Then, someone (a pregnant woman who already has one baby) said to me, "you've GOT to make time for yourself!" And another someone, a father of two, said to me, "you've got to stop feeling guilty!" So, I joined the gym. While it is hard to go when I'm so tired, I have found that I feel so much better afterwards. I'm doing something for myself and I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I'm going in the mornings, so Jake isn't staying at day care any longer than he has to.

If there's only one thing I could tell new moms, it would be exactly what I was told..."you've GOT to make time for yourself!" Working out and feeling good about myself makes me happier and in turn, I think, helps make me a great mom!

Proceed (reading this post) With Caution!

I am so irate right now. I have had enough of my father. For the remainder of this post we shall refer to him as “BP”…biological progenitor, as he is referred to as in an earlier post. “BP” is much better than what I would really like to call him…“P”. I’ll let you figure that one out on your own! And while we’re on the subject of prescribing names to people, BP’s wife is now “C”, also left to you to figure out!

All of you are aware that I have issues with BP and C. I have tried for years to accept the fact that BP married a dingus. I have said to myself many times, “if you want to have a relationship with your father, then you are going to have to deal with her!” Now it’s come down to me not wanting to deal with him.

About a month ago, C’s father passed away. He had been sick for a very long time and it was time for him to go. He’s in a much better place. I had every intention of sending my step-mother a sympathy card. I met her father when I was 14 and hadn’t seen him since. At dinner with Mike’s family, I get this text message that states, “Check your email!” BP sends me this long, drawn out email about how I need to make a cash donation to C’s father’s church. I needed to call C, tell her I wanted to make a donation but not tell her BP told me to. At the end of the email he tells me I need to forward the email to my brother because he doesn’t have his email address. So what’s wrong with picking up the damn phone? I call my brother only to find out that my father had emailed him just 2 days before (but not about this issue). He lied to me and was putting all the responsibility on me because he didn’t have the balls to call my brother and TELL him to donate money. Asshole! After venting, I decided to ignore the email. I was not about to donate money to a church that I knew nothing about for a person I didn’t know and I wasn’t going to feel guilty about it. Three days later BP calls and tells me to forget the whole thing but to send C a card. Him telling me to send that bitch a card made me not want to the send the card I had already planned to send. Plus, the bitch wasn’t even home. She was gone for three weeks. Ugh!!

Two weeks ago my 84 year old diabetic, crazy grandmother who should be locked up in the nut house had hip replacement surgery. The woman doesn’t even like to walk so I have no idea why she had the surgery anyway. BP leaves me a message saying, “Call your grandmother!” Again, I had every intention of sending her a card, but talking to her on the phone is sucky. She barely knows who I am. Again, I ignored the message. I find out today that BP text messaged my brother’s wife and told her to call her husband’s grandmother because she was in the hospital. First of all, my brother and his wife didn’t even know my grandmother was having the surgery until I told them. BP says, “Grandma is having surgery. Can you let your brother know?” So BP didn’t tell them. Then he has the audacity to TEXT MESSAGE my brother’s wife…again because he doesn’t have the balls to call his son and TELL him to make a phone call.

So, I’ve had enough. This is just the straw that broke the camel’s back. Who the fuck does he think he is? We are grown people. And to top it all off, they are supposed to watch Jake this weekend so Mike and I can go on our first date since Jake was born. I guess I’m just really mad at myself. I keep willing change in my father but it’s not ever going to happen. The man is never going to change. I thought I could accept this, but ya know, he won’t accept me for who I am. I am tired of tolerating their bull shit and for what? What is it exactly I get out of tolerating their shit? Nothing. I get put on guilt trips. I get lecturing on how to take care of my baby. I get fucked up excuses as to why they think it’s easier for them to watch Jake at their house instead of mine. To take Jake to their house, I have to pack up practically all of his belongings (pack n play, sheets, blankets, bottles, water, formula, wipes, diapers, change of clothes, medicine, pacifiers, the list goes on). What the fuck do they have to pack to come to my house? Uh, nothing! I guess I should just be grateful I’m going to get to spend 5 uninterrupted hours with my husband. For real, this is the last time I’m asking them to watch my son. I am going to find every excuse in the book to use when they want to see him. I don’t want their fucked up opinions and suggestions being pushed on me or my child.

I guess it could always be worse, but when you reach your limit, well, you just reach your limit. I’ve reached mine. Enough is enough. If I could pack up and move to Mexico, I would. Being in a different country would most certainly deter them from visiting. God help me, please!

Date Night

I can't help myself...I'm so excited about Date Night this Saturday. Mike and I are going to have our first date since Jake was born. We're going to see the Dark Knight and then go to dinner. Of course, the down side to all of this is the boy has to stay with his wicked step-grandmother. You know, the one who tries to tell me how to change his diaper. Or tells me that it's just absolutely awful and wrong that we let him sleep on his belly. Or pulls his hands out of his mouth for fear he might suck his thumb. Idiot. She has no idea that kids his age are just figuring out their hands. They put them in their mouth...that's just what they do. It doesn't mean he's going to suck his thumb. And even if he does suck his thumb, so what. Get over it. He's my kid, not her's. Anyway...that's another post.

So, the Dark Knight. Have any of you seen it? Everyone's been talking about it...how great it is and how awesome Heath Ledger's performance is. I've been in love with Heath Ledger since I first saw him in "10 Things I Hate About You" which I could watch over and over and over again. In fact, maybe I'll go home and watch it today...if the boy will let me. Heath was on my List of Five. You know, the five people I can sleep with without getting in trouble. Mike says I can only have a List of Four now since I picked someone who died. Stupid! I still can't believe Heath is no longer with us. What a waste of a hottie! I like his old look better than his newer look, but, either look, I still love him! I'm super excited to see the Batman movie, even though he obviously doesn't look like himself. It's such a shame that he's not around to enjoy the success of the movie or to make a sequel. I heard there might be a sequel. Just won't be the same without Heath. So, if there's talk of a sequel, that means he doesn't die at the end of the movie, right? I'm gonna be so pissed if I sit through almost 3 hours of movie and then have to watch Heath die again.

Day Care Rocks!

Jake's first week of day care didn't go so well. When I picked him up on Wednesday I could tell he wasn't feeling well. He spent Wednesday night trying to figure out how to breathe through his mouth as he was congested. It was so sad. We went ahead and took him on Thursday and they informed me when I picked him up that he had been fussy all day and not eating well. We woke up Friday morning and the poor little guy had a fever of 101.7. We got in to see the doctor first thing. They couldn't figure out why his temp was so high, so they did blood work. They wanted to rule out pneumonia. That was awful. I almost cried when they stuck him with that needle. They had to have an extra person hold his arm still. Poor little guy. They asked us to wait in the waiting area for the results. He made every other baby in the waiting room cry. I felt so bad. Luckily, it wasn't pneumonia, just a cold. Of course, they won't give babies his age anything except Tylenol...so we loaded him up every 4 hours. The fever finally broke Saturday and he was much happier.

It's nice to know I pay to get my child sick. Day care rocks! Ugh!!

Carney Man

So, yesterday was my first day back at work since April 18. It was super hard leaving Jake at day care. Mike had to take him. I knew I wouldn't leave him. He would have either been at work with me or I would have quit my job. Quitting my job probably wouldn't have been the best plan though. It sucks that I have to work. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't realize how hard until after he was born. Now he's off forming attachments with someone who isn't me. Yeah, it's probably good for him. His only two friends right now are Buddy and Badger and I must say, they're not really into being his friend. The peeps said he did really well yesterday. Of course, are they really going to say, "yeah, he had a bad day!" They told me he seems to be a very happy baby...which made me feel a little better about it. At least he might be happy there. He was exhausted when I got him home. He slept from 9:30 pm to 4:00 am. I couldn't believe it. And seeing as it was my night to get up with him...it was AWESOME!! Let's hope he shows Mike the same courtesy. Ha!!

So, in the words of Cody Canada..."I am a carney worker, I make two bucks. Every hour come to find out...this job it f**kin sucks!" I'd much rather be at home with my baby!

Sleep is Overrated!

Ha. Yeah right. I need sleep. I want sleep. Will I ever get to sleep again? Mr. Jake was doing so well for about 4 days but last night he regressed back to his old ways. Can't seem to keep the boy fed long enough for him to sleep. Growing pains maybe? I don't know how his little body stays awake for as long as it does. I'm hoping last night was just a freak thing and he will go back to sleeping 4-5 hours at night.

Even though he makes us crazy with no sleep, all he has to do is smile and it makes everything okay!

The Not So Rolling Stones

Damn kidney stone was stuck in the tube, it never rolled anywhere. I had a visit with the urologist yesterday and he found that the stone never actually made it to my bladder. The stone was a bit large measuring in at 4 mm. It wasn't going to come out by itself, so I had to have surgery this morning. Yeah, surgery. The urologist said there are still a couple of stones in my kidney but they are very small and won't do any harm if they try to come out.

Fortunately my dad and step-witch were able to help. I know, I shouldn't call her the step-witch now. I am very grateful for all she has done. I hate asking people for help cause I feel like I'm inconveniencing everyone. Mike's work has been stupid about all of it wondering why he can't be at work. He was able to take tomorrow off to take care of Jake, since I can't. That's what sucks about this whole thing...I can't take care of my baby. Yesterday I was trying to give the little guy a bath and I couldn't finish dressing him cause I got sick. He laid on the bed alone for what seemed like forever but he was fine!

Anyway, the urologist is going to run some tests to figure out why I'm producing the stones. Hopefully he can figure something out cause I HATE KIDNEY STONES!

I Love the ER!

Um, yeah...we were back again. Stupid ER. I think we should start an 'ER Fund' soon as it's starting to get kinda costly. Sheesh! This morning at 6 am, I got up to feed Jake and starting feeling weird. I kept thinking, "no way is this another kidney stone passing!" Pain kept getting worse. Mike was supposed to go to work and I didn't want to make a big deal about another kidney stone but the pain wouldn't go away...even after taking a pain pill. So, to the ER we went. Luckily my dad and step-mother were able to come take care of Jake so we didn't have to take him. Ironically enough, they put us in the same damn room that Jake was in when we went with him 3 weeks ago.

The ER doc said the stone was small which contradicts what the last ER doc said..."those won't pass without help." After another CAT scan the doc said the remaining stones were gone and said I had passed them. WHAT? I didn't even feel them. Weird. I have to get into the urologist Monday to make sure they're gone. I'm glad they passed pain free...if they really did pass.

Dear Lord, in the past 3 weeks, we've been to the ER 3 times. This is getting ridiculous! Would anyone like to donate to the fund?

The Stones

Seems like crazy things just keep happening. This past weekend we went to visit my mom and step-dad. Things were going so well. Mom was going to take care of Jake so Mike and I could get some sleep and I was so looking forward to that sleep! Lucky me, however, ends up in the bathroom, hunched over, unable to walk and puking. I kept refusing to go to the hospital because I HATE the ER...especially in Hondo, TX! Two hours later, I was begging my mother to take me to the hospital.

For those that don't know, my mom and step-dad live 30 miles from civilization...which makes a really long trip to the hospital when your in agonizing pain. After puking my guts out and writhing in pain, we finally get to the ER where the doc immediately gives me morphine, as he heard me come in. They had to wheel me in cause I still couldn't walk. Fifteen minutes later, morphine had kicked in and I felt great!

We kept thinking something was wrong with my ovary but we were wrong. After an x-ray and CAT scan, the doc broke the wonderful news that I had 5 kidney stones. The pain was caused by the smallest one being released from the kidney and making it's way into my bladder. The 4 stones remaining are apparently quite large. GREAT!! Just want I wanted! Now I have to go see a urologist in hopes they will blast the stones so I can pass them without any pain. I have my pain medication on hand though...just in case one of those bad boys decides to escape between now and then! Sheesh!

"Baby Wise"

Who was I kidding thinking I would have time to blog? I barely have time to shower and eat. Seems that Jake has his days and nights confused. Plus, he had pink eye in both eyes, so we've had a rough week. Last Wednesday after the bad storms, Jake's left eye became swollen and very red. We called the after hours clinic, as it was 2 am and the on-call nurse told us to go to the ER. So, we did. Spent 2.5 hours there...which really wasn't that long in ER time. Had pink eye in both eyes. His eyes are back to normal now. Was very sad...I cried on the way to the ER, at the ER, on the way home from the ER...and then some more at home. He was barely two weeks old and already had to visit the ER. Sheesh!

I have been reading a book called "On Becoming Baby Wise." It was recommended by one of my mom's friends to try to help us get Jake on day/night track. I found after researching the book that it has been very controversial, but at this point, I'm willing to try anything. I started following the plan yesterday, modifying it a bit. Yesterday was okay, last night was rough. Today has been really good but we shall see how tonight goes. I really just want to get us all in a routine...so we can all sleep. According to the book, all babies are able to sleep through the night (7-8 hours) between 7-9 weeks. Also, according to other people I have talked to, this is possible. So, this is my goal. I'm willing to not sleep now if my efforts will pay off in a few weeks. Jake will be three weeks old tomorrow...so, 4 more weeks to go. Ha!! I'll keep ya posted!

Been A While!

Wow...so I've been out of touch for a while! Finally had Jake Ryan on April 30th. After 19 hours of labor and 3 1/2 hours of hard pushing, he had to come out by way of c-section. My doctor knew I didn't want to have a c-section from the very beginning and was trying to avoid it. I guess after hearing me yell "please get him out NOW!!" a c-section was the only way to go! Mike said he could hear me screaming from the hallway. Nice. I hope I didn't discourage any other soon-to-be-moms that might have been in the adjacent rooms. Yikes!

Recovery has been slow. Fortunately, I have the greatest mom and husband in the whole world! I don't know what I would have done without my mom here to help me. There were so many things I just couldn't do...like take a shower by myself. Is a little humiliating to be 29 years old and have to have my mom help me bathe. But, I couldn't have done it without her. And Mike has been AWESOME!! Of course, he's had to work this past week and is functioning on little sleep but he keeps on trucking! Thankfully he has off next week and can catch up on some sleep...maybe.

The step-witch kept her distance until yesterday when my mom left. I'd never seen a baby cry and eat at the same time until last night. And thanks to her my baby was up all night crying. To go into great detail about the experience I had last night would take me pages. I'll just say that when she finally left our house, I was in tears. I don't know how I'm going to survive letting her hold and keep my child. Is very sad.

So, maybe I will be able to post more often now. We'll see. I'll be at home for another 8-10 weeks...hopefully! Of course, I have tons of school work to keep up with too. Should be fun!

Creepy Neighbor Man, Part Eleven (Hopefully the Last)

CNM had his sentencing hearing yesterday. He was sentenced to one year probation. He is not to come anywhere near our property and is to have absolutely no contact with me whatsoever. He will have to do community service, drug testing, attend cognitive education classes and also maintain his psyc meds for the entire length of the probation. I was a little bummed when I first heard that he would be getting off with only a year of probation. However, I feel better about it now knowing that he is on medication and has to stay on the medication, for now at least. The County Attorney didn't have the completed file yet, as they are still assigning a Probation Officer. She wasn't able to tell me if a psyc assessment was part of the deal, but I would assume it was since he is now on medication. I know he's received medication in the past but feel certain he wasn't actually taking the medication when he attempted to get into my house.

I still am unsure whether or not he is living across the street, but his family is still there. I've only seen him a few times recently and he's been with their new baby. I can only assume he's there visiting his child. Poor kid. Anyway, once he is assigned his PO, that's the person I call if anything happens. Unless of course it's something serious, then I call the police again. Hopefully this is the last we will hear of CNM. 9 months later, it's finally over!

Are You Still Pregnant?

Alrighty...people suck! I was walking into work this morning and someone started imitating my poor excuse for walking. I'm 8 months pregnant, I waddle. Do people think I like to waddle? Do people think it's funny to imitate and harass pregnant women? Someone actually walked up to me the other day and asked, "are you STILL pregnant?" Dumbass! And it's really awesome when people walk up and say, "wow! You're big!" Thank you so very much for pointing out the obvious!

I guess I've become overly sensitive and bitchy the past couple of weeks. I want this baby out! I just don't understand why people feel the need to make stupid comments. Step-witch called yesterday and wanted to know how I had been getting to work. What? Uh, I drive myself. Apparently she thinks my belly is sticking out too far and I can't reach the steering wheel. "Now when are you going to stop driving?" When you start paying my bills, lady! Genius!

4 more weeks...that's if this baby comes on time. It might be worth it to not come to work anymore just so I don't have to tolerate the stupid comments people make. I really just want to slap people. Maybe I should look into anger management!

FMLA

At my last doctor visit, my doc told me to inquire about the possibility of working from home as my blood pressure and swelling are causing him some concern. My boss has allowed me to work from home before but only for a day or two. I really thought he wouldn't have a problem with me signing in to gotomypc.com for a few hours a day so I wouldn't have to use all my accrued vacation/sick time. Well, slap me in the face...apparently I have to be dying to work from home. Not to seem insensitive or anything, but the 2 people he has allowed to work from home have had terminal illnesses. I get that, but I plan on coming back to this job. Doesn't it make sense to give me just a few hours a day so I'm not having to use ALL my accrued time? If the doc puts me on bed rest I'm gonna end up having to use unpaid leave. This is where FMLA comes into play.

After really thinking about FMLA...it pisses me off. What about the people who don't have accrued time? They have to take unpaid leave. Yeah, it's nice that the gov't makes it mandatory for companies to allow you that time off...but who can afford to not get paid for 12 weeks? Unless you're wealthy or win the lotto, it's just not possible. And you HAVE to stay home and care for a new baby. Most day cares won't even accept a child until it's at least 6 weeks old...some 8 weeks old. And sure, I want to stay home and care for my baby. I would stay home permanently if I could, but I can't. Why can't companies pay you even just a percentage of your salary while you're at home caring for a child? If I got laid off, I could collect unemployment. It's not like I'm staying home to fart around. I'll be staying home to care for my child...which in all actuality is way more work than I do at my job.

If I had more than 8 weeks of accrued time, I'd be home right now. I'm so exhausted and worn out that it's a pain in my ass to drive to work. My legs are going to give out on me any minute. And the sad part it, I don't do shit. At work, I sit. It's the walking to and from the bathroom or walking the mile from my car to my office that really gets me. I just don't have the energy to do any of it right now. I'd much rather be at home with my feet up. At least at home I could read or watch movies or play video games.

I guess I should just be thankful I have a job to come back to. I just wish there were more companies out there who really cared for their employees.

Creepy Neighbor Man, Part Ten

Well, he had a hearing this past Friday, the 28th. It was the beginning of his sentencing. He did plead guilty and his actual sentencing hearing is now scheduled for April 16th. That should be the last of it. Both parties agreed to 12 months probation...which includes absolutely no contact. I asked if waving counted. I was told that waving was contact so he shouldn't be waving at me. Although, since he hasn't been around much lately, that shouldn't be a problem. I kinda wish he would make some sort of contact, like waving. His probation could be revoked and then maybe he would get some jail time.

I don't really know how I feel about him getting probation. I mean, it's not like he was coming over that day just to say "hi!" He was coming over to attack me in some way. Would he have gotten jail time if he had actually laid his hands on me? Who knows. It's taken 7 months just for sentencing to begin. At the April 16th hearing the judge will either agree with the 12 months probation or sentence him to something else that he finds appropriate. No telling. Gotta love our system!

Recognize...Again!

This is from a pregnancy website. "I wish I'd known...not to let anyone else's opinions diminish my belief in what I'd decided was right for me. Remember that this is your childbirth experience, your body, and your family."

I'm so glad I have this blog to vent. I'm sure the peeps who read it do get tired of hearing about the same ole crap. I know I'm sure tired of the same ole crap happening.

My step-mother called last night. She wanted to inform us that Easter is Sunday. You're kidding me? Easter is Sunday? No! Dear Lord, I guess she thinks we live in a cave. I kinda wish we did live in a cave...then maybe she wouldn't bother us.

I made the mistake of telling her a few weeks ago that I plan on attending the Pflugerville ISD job fair on March 29. For some reason, she remembered that bit of information and inquired about it. She questioned why I wanted to go to PISD. After explaining that I've heard good things about PISD and I have been observing there, she said, "well, wouldn't you rather go to Round Rock ISD?" I again explained that I thought PISD was a better district. Besides, their job fair is the same day as PISD's and I can't attend both. It's just not possible. I have applied to RRISD though. Her next question baffled me, as we live in Leander. "Do you want to teach there because that's where Jake will go to school?" First of all, Jake isn't even born. Secondly, did she not hear anything I had said previously? Good God I swear that woman's ears don't work.

After arguing with me about where I should apply for a job, she then turns to the subject of the upcoming baby shower. My sister-in-law wanted to throw a shower for me here in town. My step-mother got wind and has taken over completely. Poor Laura has had to deal with this woman's ignorance. Apparently she thinks I don't have enough stuff on my registries. I have placed items on my registries that I think we need. If I don't think we need it, then it's not on them. I've told her several times that I'm not going to add things just to add things. I don't want people to spend a lot of money. So, again, I explain that I feel like there's plenty on the registries and I'm not adding anything new. The conversation turns to the sling. I, once again, have to explain to her that I don't want a sling. "Well, how are you going to carry your baby?" WHAT? Did you really just ask me HOW I'm going to carry my baby? Uh, with my arms, you twit! "Well, did you read something that makes you not like them?" Actually, the simple fact that she does like them makes me never want to lay eyes on one again! Me saying "I just don't like them!" wasn't good enough for her, I guess. She obviously was looking for some other answer.

I have started giving as little information as possible to this woman, or at least trying. She doesn't listen anyway or isn't happy with what I have to say, so why even waste my breath on her? I know what's coming. I've been in this never ending cycle with her for 15 years now. I know I am going to have to get ugly with her now BEFORE the baby comes. A wise man gave me some great advice yesterday. I think I will use his exact words when it comes time to put this bitch in her place..."pack a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and get the fuck outta my life!"

Recognize!

So the wicked step-mother is at it again. I just can't win. Her and my father came over Saturday evening to bring us a gift...a car seat. We were so very appreciative! A car seat is definitely a MUST have, no questions asked. Of course, the witch wanted to see all the other things we have received so far. She began looking at the clothes and realized that the majority of them are sports related. We're having a boy! Mike loves all sports! Add that up and you get a lot of sports related clothing. Plus, they're cute. The comment was made "I'm worried about y'all! Y'all aren't going to let him be his own person!" Dear God, excuse me? WHAT? Can someone tell me what 3 month old knows what kind of clothes he's wearing? I replied by saying, "well, he will like sports, fishing and hunting! He will be a very well rounded kid!" I actually got "booed!"

Mike owes me BIG time! The wicked step-mother was going to buy him a 'man diaper bag.' If you know Mike then you know he's not going to use a 'man bag!' I talked her out of that one. Today she has sent me emails regarding recalls. If you've ever read the recalls then you should probably notice that a lot of the time it's due to negligence...like not watching your kid. She sent me a recall on a deep-fryer. Please tell me why I would have my baby around a deep-fryer anyway? WTF? And all of this comes after her comments of me needing therapy for my 'cleaning issues' and 'breast feeding issues!' She obviously thinks she's better equipped than I am to take care of MY child.

She wants me to add a sling to my registry. If you know ME at all, then you know I'm not the kind of person to carry my child around in a sling (no offense if you like the slings). I guess she wants the sling to go along with the monkey back pack she purchased for us that has a leash on it. Yeah, she bought my unborn kid a back pack with a leash (no offense if you agree with the leashes). Again, if you know ME at all, you know I'm not the kind of person to use a leash. Over the past 15 years this woman has apparently not listened to a word I've said.

The point of all of this is...RECOGNIZE that you know nothing about having a child because you've never had one. RECOGNIZE that it's what Mike and I want, not what you want. (I'm sorry you don't like the diaper bag I chose!) RECOGNIZE that you don't know everything and back the "F" off!

Creepy Neighbor Man, Part Nine

Halle-freaking-lujah! CNM no longer resides across the street from me. I heard from our next door neighbor that he's been gone for about two months. This would explain why I haven't seen him creeping about. Apparently, after his little "being carried out on a stretcher" incident, he moved out. His wife, and they are married, as we keep getting their mail. Yeah, out of all the mailboxes their crap ends up in ours. Sheesh. Anyway, his wife, his new child, and his two step-children are still living at the house, but he's not. I don't know all the details and I still can't figure out how they afford to live there. She's not working and he wasn't working...so who knows. The next door neighbor also told me their water and stuff gets shut off quite frequently because they don't pay their bills. Do I feel sorry for them? Not really. Does that make me a horrible person? Probably. I mean, I feel bad for the kids, but come on!

So, he has a hearing on March 28 which is supposed to finally be the beginning of his punishment. We shall see. You better believe I'll be calling to find out!

The Badmouther

There are some people in this world that can't figure out when to keep their mouths shut. They think they're better than everyone else and actually think everything they say is important. It's disgusting. At what point do these idiots get a clue? Never? I love to hear these people badmouthing other people. I especially love to hear it when the person doing the badmouthing doesn't like the other person simply because that person has always been able to see right through the badmouther. Make sense? Some people are great at figuring people out and others it takes a little longer. Me, it takes a little longer, sometimes, to figure people out. Unfortunately I tend to waste my time with the people that turn out to be horrible human beings. I just keep thinking, "surely they're not that mean or stupid or inconsiderate or selfish!" Turns out, some of them actually are that stupid and selfish. So, to you, Badmouther, learn when enough is enough and shut the hell up! Just because you have an opinion of someone doesn't mean it's correct. Sure, you're entitled to your opinion but maybe you should stop and think about what people REALLY think of you before you go handing out your opinions of other people!

Will the Real Miley Cyrus Please Stand Up!

So I don't really care for Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana or whatever the hell her name is, but we sure had fun with her wig!

Courteousness

Do you ever get just plain irate because some people lack the ability to be courteous? I walked out of my office building yesterday, got to my truck and noticed the jackass who parked beside me was completely incapable of being courteous. They had parked crooked and ON the line. I knew I wouldn't be able to open the back door to put my bag inside, so I went around to the passenger side and stuffed my things in that way. I walked back around thinking I could squeeze between the two vehicles and get inside, but I was wrong. I couldn't even fit between the cars. I had to get in through the passenger side door and CRAWL over to the driver's side. Now, imagine this, I'm 6 months pregnant. I have a hard enough time getting in my truck like a normal person...on the driver's side. I somehow managed to get in and maneuver my way over the console and get my legs and feet under the steering wheel without hurting myself. Of course, after getting situated, I began yelling obscenities at the car next to me. I resisted the urge to leave a nasty note and also resisted the urge to slam my door into the side of their car. At what point did they think parking that close to another vehicle was a good idea? Common courtesy, people! Come on!

Creepy Neighbor Man, Part Eight

CNM had a hearing on January 18. Did any of you actually think it would be the end? Ha! I can't believe how shitty our system works. It has been 5 months since that asshole attempted to harm me and still nothing has been done to him. Apparently he showed up to the hearing without an attorney and plead guilty. I would think him pleading guilty was a good thing. The judge thought otherwise. They are making him hire an attorney and show up for yet another hearing. That hearing is scheduled for February 15. Maybe by the time I'm 50 this guy will have been punished for his crime. Why can't they just pack up their shit and move already? I'd take that at this point. Our society rocks. The HOA didn't give a shit. The home owner didn't give a shit. It's nice to know people care about other people. I love it!